STEREOTYPE YOURSELF!
by Lynn Mabel-Lois
Stereotyping, that favorite American pastime, is rapidly
disappearing due to a lack of targets. Blacks and women are pretty
uppity nowadays, and even children have a bill of rights, so the
nation turns in despair to its last hope: fat people.
Tough luck, America. Fat people have gotten uppity too.
How could this happen? you say. What happened to all that wonderful passivity? Used to be when we asked you to
babysit our kids instead of going to the dance, you jumped at the chance. We'd just say "I expect you won't
want to dance, anyway." (We were being kind, you know. We really meant that no one in his/her right mind would
want to dance with you) and we had ourselves a babysitter. We just did it for you, dear. Besides, we put out such
a nice bowl of candy for you. Everyone knows you eat so much because no one has loved you and you'll never have
children if you don't have sex and you can't have sex at your weight.
You were wonderful on camping trips, cooking those marvelous stews all day. We never thought to ask you to come
with us on the hike. You might ave had a heart attack or held up the pace. I suppose it was boring for you, now
that I think about it. No, I didn't know you were that healthy but at your weight... Well, even if you are only
19 and your heart is perfect something could go wrong suddenly, I read just the other day about a fat man...
I must say, hiring you to handle telephone complaints at the store was the best move I ever made. Now you must
understand that even though you're doing a fabulous job there we can't let you handle customers in person. I know
that job would mean a lot more money for you, and the job is open, but we couldn't possibly let you represent the
company. You have a marvelous rapport with people over the phone but in person you're just not up to the company
image. I hope you won't take this personally, but you're too fat...
Bullshit. We take it very personally. And we're not going to take any more.
Originally Published in 1974 by the Fat Underground,
Los Angeles, California USA
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